Sunday, June 18
I wake up at 11:30AM and I am all alone. Alex slept all of two hours before heading off to the morning tournament at the Excalibur, and Scott didn't go to bed at all. He was watching soccer and playing 2-4 at the Luxor. He also placed 4th in a sit n' go and didn't win anything.
Alex ended up taking 2nd in the Excalibur tournament and won about $150. When it was four handed he had a decent chip lead and got everybody all in preflop. He had KK and flopped top set. Unfortunately the board ended up being a 9-K straight, and the guy in 2nd chip position had the lucky A. Alex was short-stacked going into heads-up play and he finished 2nd.
Cilarus had set up shop in the grand Tropicana poker room. Once again, I don't know what the hell Slim did.
I headed over to the MGM. Over the bridge, down the stairs, and I'm right there. I signed up for 3-6 and 4-8. After about 5 seconds of waiting I'm ready to die of boredom so I sit in an empty seat at a 1-2 no-limit table. Did I mention I hate no-limit? I hate all those stupid decisions you have to make. I am hoping a 3-6 or 4-8 seat will open up soon. Little did I know, the lady took me off the list when I sat at 1-2. I played for an hour, basically just check/call/folding off chips. I am able to recognize that I am at an awesome table that I could probably run over if I knew what I was doing. Alas, I didn't know what I was doing and after about an hour I was down to $53 of my original $100. Then the following hand came up:
I limped with with QJo (see, I told you I sucked) from middle position. The guy to my left limped, one more guy limped, the small blind limped and the big blind checked. The flop came J-high, all spades. I had the queen of spades. I bet $10, and the guy to my left pops it to $30. It folded around to me and I called, hoping for a spade. The turn blanked off, I checked, and the other guy put me all in for my last $23. My thoughts were:
"This guy has clearly flopped a flush. If I'm not already drawing dead I only have seven outs. I clearly have to call. I'm awesome."
I called and the guy rolled over the 9-6 of spades (see, I told you it was an awesome game).
The river gave me the beautiful 7 of spades and I took the $109 pot. I got the hell out of there with my $9 profit.
I headed north on the strip and was immediately assaulted by porn slappers. Aah...it wouldn't be Vegas without the porn slappers. Sweet! I can get Candi and Jessica both for $89. Tempting, but I have a 4-8 seat with my name on it at the Bellagio. Actually, I don't. I'm just hoping there is an open seat at a 4-8 game at the Bellagio.
The Bellagio is pretty cool. I like how they crammed thirty tables into a space for fifteen. I also like how they cram ten people at nine-seat tables.
I arrive just as they are opening a new 4-8 game at table 9 in the nook in the back left corner. I get the 8-seat, one seat to the right of a redneckish Canadian chick, and three seats to the left of an eighty-year-old nit. Seats 3 and 4 are occupied by two retarded Asian girls. I'm starting to think that all Asians are retarded. Keith Van Horn's twin brother is sitting in seat 6. Okay, let's review the characters:
Seat 1: random guy #1 (RG1)
Seat 2: random guy #2 (RG2)
Seat 3: Asian retard #1 (AR1)
Seat 4: Asian retard #2 (AR2)
Seat 5: 80-year-old nit (80YON)
Seat 6: Steve Van Horn (SVH)
Seat 7: random guy #3 (RG3)
Seat 8: me (totally awesome guy)
Seat 9: redneckish Canadian chick (RCC)
Seat 10: random guy #4 (RG4)
The game is pretty good but I don't pick up any hands and basically hover between +$20 and -$20 for a couple of hours.
I watch RCC pick up AA and it actually holds up. I get AA in the very next hand and get heads up with 80YON. The flop came K-high. I bet, he raised, I 3-bet, and he called. The turn was nothing. I bet, he called. The river was a Q, which I didn't like so I checked. He checked and turned over K-10. I win. I also suck for being a giant pussy and losing $8 on the river by not betting. This would be a recurring theme. I estimate I lost $100+ on missed value bets throughout the trip.
A short while later I witnessed the sickest beat I've ever seen in a live game. RG1 limped from early position holding KQo. Both Asian retards called. Steve Van Horn raised with KK. All three limpers called and they went to the flop four-handed. Flop comes KQx with the K of diamonds. RG1 bets his two pair, while both Asians call and SVH raises. RG1, AR1 and AR2 all call.
The turn is the Q of diamonds. The board now reads: KQQx with the KQ of diamonds.
Somehow, with one person holding KKKQQ and another holding QQQKK it is not capped on the turn.
RG1, AR1 and AR2 all check. SVH bets (he now has KKKQQ) and RG1 raises (QQQKK). AR1 folds while AR2 cold-calls two bets. SVH calls (??) and we go to the river. At this point I put Steve Van Horn on AA and RG1 on AQ or KQ. I don't know what the hell Asian #2 is doing. She probably has pocket deuces or something.
The river is the 9 of diamonds.
RG1 and AR2 go nuts raising at each other while SVH calls the whole way. I scream in my head for him to throw away his AA but he doesn't listen.
The betting is capped and the hands are revealed. Asian retard #2 rolls over the J-10 of diamonds for the runner runner straight flush and Steve Van Horn proceeds to kill himself.
I am shocked to see SVH turn over KK for top full house. I can't believe he had such a monster and didn't get a single raise in on the turn or river.
The table gave the standard "oohs" and "aahs" and three seconds later we all stopped caring and were just happy we weren't involved. Meanwhile Steve Van Horn won't shut the hell up. "I hate Vegas!" "How could you play a draw like that?" "You should give me my money back."
Seriously. He said that. We laughed.
In retrospect I guess it wasn't that bad of a beat, considering she had 8 outs on the flop and wasn't going anywhere. The turn reduced her to two outs, and a two-outer happens all the time. I guess it was the way it happened and the fact that a runner-runner straight flush beat two full houses that made it seem so bad. Oh well, gotta move on...
While Steve Van Horn sat there bitching and moaning with his face in his hands, the rest of us continued to play.
I was up a little when the following hand came up:
Both Asians and 80YON limped. I find QQ in the small blind and raise. The BB calls, as do the Asians and 80YON. Flop:
I bet my full-house, knowing full well that no one was folding. Much to my chagrin, the BB folded. The Asians both called and 80YON raised. My thoughts: "Sweet. 80YON has a 9, and both Asians are chasing dead-in-the-water draws. I will check-raise the turn. At least one of the Asians will cold-call. Hopefully it will get capped and one of the Asians will make a straight or flush."
Turn: Q. Fuck. The board now reads: QQ99.
I've never been so disappointed to get quads in my life. Now the double-paired board will chase away any flush or straight draws, and my action from 80YON is killed because he knows I have a Q.
I have to bet out because I know it will get checked around on the scary board. One of the Asians drops and one calls (yay!). 80YON laments his bad luck and calls. The river is nothing. I bet, the remaining Asians folds and 80YON calls. I turn over my hand and say:
"I think I had you on the flop."
The pot was still decent sized and put me up a decent amount on the session. I rack up when the button gets to me and I finish the 3-hour session +$120. Hourly rate for the trip so far $13.32. Things are shaping up.
I head back down to the Trop to meet the others. We decide the time is right for an In-n-Out run. We hop in the Malibu Maxx:
We head west on Tropicana Ave. to In-n-Out Burger. It's 4:30PM on a Sunday so I don't think it will be busy. I'm wrong. The place is fucking packed. Luckily the line is moving fast. After we order we are able to find a table. I decided to go with a 3X3, animal style, no mustard. Alex and Slim both got double-doubles and Scott got two 1X2's. Interesting choice, Scott. Two single burgers with a double cheeser. Cilarus was absent. He couldn't pull himself away from the Tropicana poker room. In fact, I don't think he played anywhere else. But I digress.
The hamburgers were good. We finished up and headed back to the strip.
Scott went to sleep and Slim had to head back home to Phx. Cilarus, Alex, and I decided to go down to Mandalay Bay. We took the convenient, free tram from Excalibur.
We got there and they had one 4-8 game going and no one is going to leave any time soon. Cilarus and Alex are immediately seated in 1-2 NL. Did I mention I hate no-limit?
I sat and waited. Alex came up and handed me his license. "Hey, ask the guy to get me a card." So I got out my license, too, and went and asked "the guy" to get us both cards.
Me: "Hi, can my friend and I get player's cards?"
The guy: "I don't do that. You'll have to talk to the guy in the tie."
He motioned towards a guy in a tie. So I walked over to the guy in the tie:
Me: "Hi, can my friend and I get player's cards?"
Guy in tie: "What? We don't do anything like that here. Get the fuck out of my face."
Okay, so he didn't say that, but that's what it sounded like. That's fine if you don't have player's cards, but you don't have to an asshole about it. I don't know who told Alex they had player's cards.
I completely turned off by the Mandalay Bay experience at this point and then I see this sign:
"$5 max rake."
That's $5 plus a $1 jackpot drop plus $1 to the dealer.
FUCK. THAT. SHIT.
Also, Mandalay Bay wins the award for "Ugliest, Most Disturbing Cocktail Waitress Uniforms."
I got the hell out of there and went to MGM. I made $30 in three hours. Hourly rate so far: $12.61
My 3 hours of play are good enough for a bag of chips and a Coke from the deli.
I am enjoying my rations and I get a call from Scotty Win:
Me: "I just got done at MGM."
Him: "Where do you want to go?"
Me: "Don't care."
Him: "How 'bout Venetian?"
We will continue later in the week with:
Day 2.5: Venetian Vanilla Skies