Commercial.

I'm watching TV and a commercial comes on. We are are shown a dark house at night. It is raining outside. A nubile young woman is alone inside this house. Perhaps she is babysitting children that are sleeping upstairs. Perhaps she is simply alone in this house. The phone rings and she answers. She hears nothing but heavy breathing.

At this point I assume it is a commercial for car insurance or nachos, and as the attractive main character becomes more terrified I wait for the heavy breathing to inform her of the awesome 2-for-1 one deal going on at Del Taco, or that he just saved 15% or more on car insurance*.

Then another voice comes on the phone saying: "We have traced the call, it is coming from inside the house!" So I now assume this voice is going to inform our young protagonist of the awesome 2-for-1 one deal going on at Del Taco, or that he just saved 15% or more on car insurance*.

Then the commercial cuts to a title screen and a voice-over announces:

"When a Stranger Calls...opening Feb 3rd," and the commercial ends.

I was dumbfounded. They were fucking serious? It was a commercial for an actual movie called "When a Stranger Calls" and this actual movie is supposed to be scary? I don't know if it's a good sign if you make a movie that is supposed to be scary and people think the commercial for said movie is a joke. I know I'm not alone in this. I don't see how anyone could have watched that commercial and not think it was a joke.

Didn't the people who made this commercial realize this? Or is this what they were going for, kind of like a reverse bluff? Maybe some kind of beautiful irony was just created.

Instead of watching a commercial for a scary movie thinking: "Ooh, what kind of scary thing is this scary commercial for? What?! Haha! It's just a commercial for nachos! Hey Mom, it was a commercial for nachos! What a humorous way to make me aware of nachos. I want some nachos," we are watching a commercial thinking: "Okay, what kind of dumb joke is this and what are they selling? Huh? It's actually a commercial for a scary movie? That commercial did not end how I thought it would. How puzzling. I want some nachos."

Pure brilliance. Maybe.

That's all I have to say about the commercial for a movie that is probably crappy. However, I must say that the commercial certainly did it's job, as I have thought about the movie for an extended period of time. I have not gone so far as to actually consider seeing the movie, as it is probably crappy. However, I did go so far as to do some research and learned that this is a remake of a 1979 film by the same name. How original. I also learned the names of the actors because that knowledge might come in handy some day.

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*What is the deal with that? "You could save 15% or more on car insurance." Why don't they just say: "We might be cheaper. We might not be. Please switch to us anyway." It makes about as much sense as: "50% of the time, it works every time." And how did they come up with 15%? Was that just some arbitrary figure they thought sounded good? Because in the sentence: "You could save 15% or more on car insurance," the "15%" pretty much means absolutely nothing. End.