WARNING: Poker content.

This is a poker blog, is it not? I guess at this point it is not, seeing as I quit writing about poker and none of my readers play poker. But never forget that without poker, this blog wouldn't be here.

I'm sitting here naked at 12:25AM. I just had an insatiable urge to blog and didn't feel it was necessary to put on pants. I also didn't feel it was unnecessary to tell you about my lack of pants. That's the cool thing about computers and the internet poker. You can checkraise some douchebags * while tugging one off and they are none the wiser. Unless of course you write: "I just came" in the chatbox.

I played poker for the first time in about three weeks last night. I didn't go on hiatus on purpose. A while ago I cashed out a large chunk of my bankroll and left a few hundred in there. I built that up to a decent amount by online-casino bonus-whoring and playing 10-20 on Party. Then I cashed out most of it and left a few hundred. I lost that few hundred by playing 10-20. My thoughts were: "My bankroll is empty, so I can't play." I didn't plan on stopping, I just did.

Then three weeks ago it was brought to my attention that I had about $10 sitting in Empire and $30 sitting in Noble that I didn't know about, as well as a $20 rakeback payment sitting in Carribean Sun that I had forgotten about.

(Notice how I didn't link all the names of the poker sites to stupid affiliate accounts? Did you know that no one ever signs up through those? I could be Stu Ungar risen from the dead sharing my poker insights and crack smoking tips with the world, and no one would click on my affiliate links. The Brick: Affiliate link free since 2005.)

I logged on to all three sites and promptly lost the balances in a short period. I should have consolidated, withdrawn and purchased Family Guy, Vol. 1-3, but I didn't. I wasted it on poker. Then I stopped playing poker until last night.

I was talking to Alex yesterday and he was asking about his rakeback. You see, I got him to sign up on Eurobet through my rakeback guy right before the Party de-skinning. He started playing there as soon as everyone else stopped. (Come to think of it, the Party de-skinning had a lot to do with my bankroll cashing out and severe poker cutback) He has been playing there a lot and told me the site has changed quite a bit. "When do I get paid? I've been playing a lot."

I told him that I hadn't played there in a long time and didn't know if we would be getting anymore rakeback due to circumstances beyond my control.

Him: "But how will I get paid if and when I do get paid?"
Me: "It will just show up in your account."
Him: "Oh. $31 did show up there randomly one day."
Me: "There you go."

I was curious about the changes to Eurobet so I logged on and...$18.80 in my account! Yippee! I must have had an old rakeback payment due to me. They had new software so I set it up. It looked way different. I did some googling and learned that Eurobet is now part of the Pokerroom network. Good for them.

I was pretty excited. I was starting to get an urge to play again, but Neteller was empty and I didn't have a bankroll, and I am now a firm believer in: no bankroll, no poker.

So I sat down at a .50-1 6-max table, hoping the $18 would last at least a little while. It sure did. A maniac sat down and was donating to everyone. If you raised him, he would 3-bet every time. If he caught any piece of the flop, he would go nuts at it, regardless of the action. I watched him burn through $80 in an hour. 80 big bets in an hour. That guy ruled until he ran out of money.

I made about $75 in two hours playing .50-1 and 1-2. Now I have an awesome $93 poker bankroll. That's big enough to play .15-.30, which, coincidentally, is the lowest limit at Pokerroom. I might start playing again. There seem to be lots of games going at the lower limits up to 5-10; way more games than the last time I played at Pokerroom. I know they added some skins. Also, Eurobet was fairly popular, so maybe all that traffic put together built a decent selection of low-limit games. They also have a lot of 3-max and 4-max tables, which I haven't seen before. Higher limits were pretty dead, though, and the 500-1000 table was, sadly, quite empty.

I just now fired it up and flopped broadway after getting dealt A-K. I lost to a runner-runner flush. Hell, yeah. It's good to be playing poker and using stupid poker terms like "broadway" again.

Sorry, honey.

*The phrase "checkraise some douchebags" is the sole property of Bobby Bracelet and one2many.blogspot.com. Used without permission.