Target is fun.

The coolest thing about getting plastered on a Friday night is that the next day feels like a Sunday, but it's really Saturday, so it's like your weekend has a bonus day tacked on to it. I need to get drunk on Friday more often. No I don't.

I am going to another similar party at a different bar this weekend where you pay $25 for 3 hours of bar. It's on Saturday, though, so no bonus weekend day. I will only know about three people there, so the only way I will talk to people is if I'm tipsy. Let's hope I can keep it at tipsy, instead of obnoxious-in-your-face-wasted. I don't really feel like getting drunk again this soon. It's not as fun as it used to be. Maybe I will spend this party as the awkward, aloof, non-talking guy. I'm good at being that guy.

So anyway, on this past Saturday (immediately following this past Friday), I made the mistake of asking Ms. Brick if she wanted to go to Target. We had just dropped Ubaldo off at his car and I figured: "Hey, we're out in the car anyway, so we might as well go shopping." When will I learn?

Going to Target is a rare treat for Ms. Brick, as she is not a licensed driver, so she feels the need to maximize her time there. I, on the other hand, can go to Target whenever I want, so I just want to buy the one thing I came for and leave.

This time it was Clif Bars. We were all out of Clif Bars. Target is Clif Bar utopia. Every other store sells them for $1.49, and expensive places (White Hen Pantry, I'm looking at you) sell them for $2. At Target they are 97 cents, and a box of six is 5.39. Also, Target is the only place I have seen the new "oatmeal raisin walnut" flavor, which basically kicks ass.

So with Clif Bars on my mind, and the consequences of taking Ms. Brick to Target not considered, we pull into Target. I head over to the Clif/Balance/Zone/Powerbar section and what is this? Six-packs of Clif Bars are on sale for 4.85? Oh, what a glorious day! I shall buy five boxes! Hoorah!

Since the Clif Bar section is near the personal hygiene section, I managed to remember that I needed face soap. I find this somewhat amazing seeing as I have a one track mind when it comes to shopping. If there is something I want, I drive to the grocery store or Target and buy that one thing, while completely forgetting about other items I might need. It's okay, I will make individual trips for that stuff later.

For example...

Her: "What did you get at the store?"
Me: "Diet Pepsi."
Her: "Didn't you say we were out of milk and pickles?"
Me: "Yeah."
Her: "How come you didn't get milk and pickles?"
Me: "I wanted Diet Pepsi."
Her: "...?"

So you can see I was quite proud of myself for remembering the face soap. Unfortunately, I forgot I needed shaving cream, even though it is located right next to the face soap.

So I was ready to go. I walked around for about 17 minutes and finally found the Ms. Of course she wasn't ready. After shopping for Christmas balls she was now shopping for shoes.

Me: "Let's go."
Her: "Can I have a few more minutes?"
Me: "I'll be sitting up front."

So I paid for my Clif Bars and my Cetaphil daily cleanser for normal to oily skin. Then I got a diet Coke and sat in the little restaurant area. I was happy I made it through the trip without having to try on any clothes. I continued to sit in the little restaurant area.

Finally, I saw Ms. Brick in line. I figured she would come get me when she got through. Then I didn't see her anymore. I walked up and down the front of the store and she was nowhere. I figured she thought of something else she wanted and went back into the store. I went back to the little restaurant area.

She was not shopping. She was looking for me. She thought I would be sitting on the one little bench in the front and not in the little restaurant area. She didn't even consider the little restaurant area. On my next trip walking up and down the front of the store she saw me. She got mad and said I told her I would be sitting on that bench. I said I told her I would be sitting "up front." Apparently we are in disagreeance[sic] as to what "up front" means. It's okay, it only added 30 minutes to our trip. I will be more specific next time.

If you are at Target with someone and they say they will be "up front," always consider the little restaurant area.

So we headed home. On the way she turned to me and said:

"Can we stop at the dollar store?"