Variance is a hideous bitch-goddess.

My hourly rate was just under $10 on Friday night, then I had a pretty good few days and actually got it up to $14. Then Wednesday night variance stepped in and bitch-slapped it back down to $10, and I was left wondering how the hell I ever won at this shit in the first place. Fuck you, variance.

Then variance came back yesterday, handed me $279 in an hour and 45 minutes, and now I'm almost back to $14. Yay, variance.

It wasn't like last night's session went perfect, either. I had top two pair lose to a set, top pair lose to a rivered two pair, 777 lose to 888 (both with pocket pairs), QQ lose to 5-4, and QQ lose to A-J. Take a few of those out and I'm well over $400. So the deck was basically rolling over me. I didn't even get huge hands, either. I just kept getting good top pair hands like A-K and K-Q, and I kept pairing up and winning with top pair. It being PartyPoker, the other players felt the need to draw out on me, but somehow repeatedly failed in this endeavor, so I was paid off nicely. I also hit several sets, all but one held up. Wednesday night I couldn't catch anything and couldn't pair anything. That's just how poker goes, though.

I also won a $22 sit 'n go for a $78 net profit. When it was five-handed, blinds were 50-100 and I was the short stack with T275. I am awesome. "Fuck you," said Scott.

Eighteen more hours until I move up to 3-6...

Sorry for the mini-post. I promise I will write a humorous anecdote about toothbrushes or can-openers sometime soon.