Fears realized.

I must say Ms. Brick is awesome, has awesome ideas, and I love her very much.

She decided that the party would be a fondue party. She planned the whole thing and designed the invitations with one of her work friends without running the idea past me.

I, apparently, have no say in the matter.

The invitations say: "Do you fondue?" I would not have a problem with this if the invitation did not have my name on it taking responsibility, and the party in question was not taking place at my residence. She refused to put a disclaimer on it saying I had nothing do with the presence of fondue at the party or the design of the invitation. Keep in mind this invitation is going out to my guy friends. "I'm not going to some gay fondue party. No I do not, in fact, 'fondue.' Is that even a verb?"

Now, to follow-up yesterdays post, she has made fondue before, ingredients do not cost $53.76, and I will not have to drive 20 miles to a specialty grocery store to obtain them. Of course, I shouldn't say anything. I can guarantee you that the particular type of fondue will be unlike any she has done before. "I want to do lobster fondue. You need to go to Maine to get fresh lobster." In that case, my trip will be substantially longer than 20 miles, and cost substantially more than $53.76.

The main source of my displeasure is that fondue is not something you do for thirty people. It's something you do for six people. I don't need thirty people dripping cheese and chocolate (that's right, one fondue pot isn't enough; she needs to do a cheese one AND a chocolate one) on my floor. For those of you reading this that are invited, I'm not implying you are messy or sloppy. I'm implying that it's fondue. I don't care how careful you are, that shit is getting on the floor. And as more alcohol gets ingested, more shit gets on the floor. I don't have a problem with a mess. Parties are messy and leave a mess, and if it doesn't it was a crummy party. However, what you serve at a party greatly influences the magnitude of the mess. That's why no one serves barbecue ribs at a party, unless it takes place outside, therefore preventing the mess from the infiltrating the inside areas.

She said the party needed a theme. That's something I don't understand. Why fondue, then? And how is fondue a "theme"? If we had a big tray of fancy nachos would the theme be nachos? Would the invitation say: "Do you eat nachos?" If you need a theme why not Batman, then? Everyone likes Batman. We can have Batman decorations, a Batman cake, and Batman games where you pin the bat on the Batman.

Furthermore, isn't the standard theme for parties held by people our age alcohol? Can't the invitations just say "Do you drink?" I can guarantee that the common response will be "Yes. Yes I do. I will be there. Drinking."

So it's a fondue party. I will be there. I will have fun. I will be happy. I will be drinking.