Working late with Chinese people.
It has been firmly established that I do not own the infinite patience and discipline required to be a successful long-term winner at this poker stuff. I'm considering just cashing out my bankroll. However, there is no way I am ever going to quit completely, and I have learned the benefits of keeping poker money separate from other money. However, it seems stupid to have a few thousand dollars just sitting there doing nothing, when I could be spending it on DVDs and pizza. That's all I have to say about poker today.
On Friday I stayed at work until 9:30. Ms. Brick was pissed. The reason for this is because my boss was working on some numbers that needed to be uploaded for global reporting. I am the only person in North America employed by Hyperglobalmegacorp that knows how to do this particular upload. There are other people that used to work for Hyperglobalmegacorp that know how to do this, but I am the only one left. I can't teach anyone else how to do this, because then they will have no use for me. So my boss finally finished and I did the upload. My boss pisses me off. But not because I had to stay for four hours on a Friday waiting. If my last boss at my old job asked me to do that I would pissed as hell. But Jeanine (current boss) totally busts her ass and I do not bust my ass, so being the only person in North America that can do uploads, I felt it was the least I could do (insert Brian Regan joke here). Jeanine pisses me off because she just started this job, busts her ass, and is really smart, but always makes stupid comments like: "God I'm so stupid" or "God I'm so retarded" when she doesn't do something just right or overlooks something. That pisses me off to no end. She is in her early thirties, and she should have realized by now that people hate that shit. I will now put forth my best effort to not make such comments myself. Maybe if I wasn't such a stupid fucking retard I would be good at poker.
So I left work at 9:30 and got on the train. There were two Asian women sitting ahead of me, and a burly black gentlemen sitting across from them. The following exchange ensued:
Black guy: "What time does the train leave?"
Asian lady: "9:35"
Black guy: "Where are you from?"
Asian lady: "Taiwan"
Black guy: "[Chinese]"
Asian lady: "[Chinese]"
So they went nuts in Chinese for the train ride. Now, if you speak Chinese, and you look like you don't speak Chinese, and you run into a native Chinese speaker, do you need to break the ice with "What time does the train leave?" Can't you just start speaking Chinese? I found the guy's opening question more amusing than the fact that he spoke Chinese. Chinese is what they speak in Taiwan, right?
I got home and Ms. Brick and I went out for margaritas and nachos. Then the rest of the weekend happened. That's all.
Scott, I want a full report on your lesbian experiences in the comments.
posted by Brick @ 7:12 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
To all of the brick's loyal readers- This weekend Ms. Scott & I went to Ohio to see some of her friends who I hadn't met yet. Friday night was a lesbian campout, and Saturday night was a lesbian love ceremony. As tantalizing as that sounds, no girl-on-girl action took place in my presence. I can say that lesbians know how to "camp" and throw parties. I put camp in quotes because there was electricity, a fridge, running water, electric blankets, and trick-or-treaters involved.
The lesbian love ceremony was a good time. After the ceremony a dance instructor taught everyone how to merengue. About 2/3 of the couples had problems here, however, as they couldn't figure out which girl should lead and which should follow. After everyone learned to dance and ate and drank enough to not freeze (we were outside), Captain Mike took over on the turntables and got the party started with "Dude looks like a lady" and other rousing 80's rock anthems. I wondered about the appropriateness of that song at a lesbian wedding reception. And how do you merengue to Aerosmith?
One more highlight of the afternoon was when three 6-10 year-olds interrupted my & Ms. Scott's game of darts. We told them we'd play them and gave them a huge head start, only to hear them talk trash and taunt us all night long with "hey there's the people we beat at darts!"
The following day, we visited my parents on our way home. They are decidedly not lesbians. During the drive back to Chicago, I heard the story of my friends' Saturday night. It involved scotch, fighting, biting, nut-grabbing, and 8-story teleportation.
Potential future blog topic for the brick: In our patriarchal society with nightly Cinemax (or even the OC) girl-on-girl action, why is it so cool now to be a gay man, but not a lesbian woman?
I can't believe you lost to a bunch of kids at darts. I am also disappointed that no double-bendover triple-fisting took place. I don't even know what that means.
I did not participate in Saturday night's festivities. Our one friend Matt likes to get drunk and fight. Scott fought him once in my kitchen. They wrestled on the floor for a while and no biting took place.
Scott wasn't there on Saturday so Matt had to fight Alex this time. Biting took place. I saw the evidence on Alex's forearm yesterday. Matt called me earlier and said: "We had fun last night. I bit Alex."
That's the kind of thing you have to ask the person to repeat several times because it doesn't sound right. "You bit him?"
Matt is now mad at me for talking about his fondness for alcohol. But everyone who reads this already knew that or doesn't know him so it's no big deal. One time Matt and I went to a movie with some of Scott's new friends and I dumped a flask of Southern Comfort into my Coke and got hammered and told everyone that I wasn't an alcoholic but Matt was. He was slightly pissed. Later I threw up a popcorn/Southern Comfort mixture on the street.
What was I talking about again?
Ms. Scott sent me an email saying she's "hooked on Steve's freaking blog". She also suggests a post about bathroom habits.
Do we know who made the mush it up cake comment?
We lost to the kids at darts because we were playing cricket and already had half the board crossed off for them. And we let them throw from 4 feet away.
We don't know who posted the cake comment. Ms. Brick denies responsibility.
I don't think I will posting about my "bathroom habits" anytime soon.
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