This sucks.

My tits are still on fire from my gym visit. I walked up 16 flights of stairs this morning. That was a nice punch in the face to remind me how out of shape I am. Ms. Brick has been doing the stairs thing for a couple weeks now. I need to catch up with her.

I had a banana and yogurt for breakfast. My lunch was a mixture of:

Spinach
Beans
Chickpeas
Red onions
Carrots
Tomatoes
Chicken
Green & red peppers

This sucks.

The suckitude should wear off in a week or so, as it becomes routine, and as I start to feel better, have more energy, and my boobs recover so I can blast them again. I remember in college when my diet consisted mainly of double cheeseburgers, steak sandwiches, chalupas, Doritos, 4am pizza, Kool-Aid, and Skittles, I always had that acid "I just threw up a little bit" taste in my mouth whenever I burped. I burped a lot. I also didn't enjoy moving around too much. After I graduated, started detox, and quit eating cheese, the throw-up taste mysteriously went away and I had more energy. One night in early 2001 I went jogging because I had too much energy and didn't know what to do. Then I started jogging every day. After about six months it was like: "Hey this is pretty cool. I'm in way better shape now and can actually do pull-ups." Amazing how that works.

Then poker happened. Now I can't do pull-ups. I want to do pull-ups. That's officially my goal now: do a set of ten pull-ups. That and get good at poker...simultaneously while doing pull-ups. I need to find a way to successfully integrate poker and pull-ups. The last time I successfully did ten pull-ups I didn't know what the "flop" was.

Writing about taking the stairs reminded me of the 400 lb. One Floor Elevator Crew. My last job was at a three story building. I worked on the 2nd floor. Needless to say, I never even thought of taking the elevator. I wish I could say the same for the 400 lb. One Floor Elevator Crew. The group I worked in had a high percentage of morbidly obese members, which were known to me as the 400 lb. One Floor Elevator Crew. Occasionally we would have a meeting on the 3rd floor. Watching them stand there waiting for the elevator to go up one floor while the rest of us headed to the stairs was very sad and motivational.

One morning my 400-lb. boss came in huffing and wheezing like she was going to die. She had taken the stairs. One flight. It reminded me of the Adam Sandler bit "Fatty McGee". I applaud her for taking the stairs that day, though.

If I ever take the elevator to go one floor do me a favor and shoot me in face. Unless I don't have any legs or they quit working. In that case don't shoot me in the face.

As of this writing, I have fully functional legs.