Lull.

I feel as though the blog has been sucking for the past week or so (if you feel otherwise please please let me know, and if you agree, please let me know). I have resisted writing about this but can't put it off any more. I actually got out of bed at 2AM to write this. I haven't really had anything meaningful to write about so I wrote about the cockroach in the dishwasher, regurgitated an old e-mail I wrote to Scott, and deep-fried pizza? What the hell was that? I almost called the "White russians & cockroaches" post "Tuesday filler," because that's what it was. I'm forcing shit out here. I'm constipated. Maybe I should take some blog laxatives and put out a quality post.

I wrote a while ago that I felt pressure to write a funny story every day, but I would only write when I wanted to, not because I felt obligated to. Well, that hasn't been the case. I still feel like I need to put something out every day or else I'm letting people down. I should be doing this for myself, but then I find myself thinking: "Fuck, I need to post some stuff tomorrow." That's where it stops being for me and the crappy content comes in.

Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, but I'm really not too proud of my recent writings.

I would much rather put up one quality post a week instead of four or five mediocre ones, but I'm worried that if I don't post frequently people will stop coming back. Of course, shitty content will cause people to stop coming back, too. I have gotten lots of positive feedback about this blog, and I really appreciate it and makes me feel good, but it also adds to the pressure when someone says: "I'm freaking hooked on your blog," because I want to keep them hooked. I know this pressure is completely self-imposed and unnecessary, and I should write when I feel like it.

I know my best stuff comes when an idea pops in my head without having to think about it and just start writing, like the "Lunch" post. I thought that one was pretty good and it just came to me and took no effort at all. I wish that could happen every day, but it just doesn't, and so you end up with "Deep-fried pizza."

Hopefully I will resist the urge to force mediocre posts, and only write when something moves me to do so, but please don't be disappointed if you don't see any new stuff for a few days.

Tonight Ms. Brick told me: "You're a really good writer and I really enjoy your blog. I think it helps me get to know you better."

That makes it worth it.