Honesty.

My boss's boss's boss here at Hyperglobalmegacorp wants to have a 30 minute one-on-one meeting with each of us to "get a feel" for what we do. He is coming over to this building tomorrow for three hours to meet with the six of us. Somehow I'm not nervous and I'm looking forward to it. I was planning on going in there and just start qouting Peter Gibbons verbatim. For example:



Me: "Well, I usually show up about fifteen minutes late. I go in the back door so Lundberg doesn't see me, and then I just sort of space out for an hour. I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I'd say in given week I only do about fifteen minutes of actual, real work."

Then today we were deciding who was going to go when and my boss says: "So, Brick (that's what my boss calls me. This blog and work are the two places where I'm known as 'Brick') when do you want to go. By the way, can we go talk?"

Me: "What, are you worried about me meeting with the boss of the boss of the boss?"
Her: "Yeah."

I think she was worried because I never talk. Ever. Never. Never ever ever. In group meetings I refuse to speak. And on the few occasions I do open my mouth I'm kind of blunt. So we go into one those little side conference rooms:

Her: "You tend to be a little too...honest."
Me: "Yeah."
Her: "I'm worried you're going to go in there and tell him you don't know what's going on and you don't know what you're doing and everything is a mess."
Me: "Yeah."
Her: "You can't do that."
Me: "Oh."

I closed by telling her I would try to be positive and not be all "Office Space." So there goes my plan. So I don't really know what I'm going to say but I'm hoping it will be hilarious.

Then later today we learned that the boss of the boss of the boss is bringing in a "resource utilization" consultant. Sweet. This is going to be just like Office Space after all. My boss is freaking out:

Her: "I just know it's going to look like we have all this free time and we suck at time management."

Well, I better go. I need to finish my TPS reports. I hope I remember to use the new cover sheet this time.